by hoh.gh (Da West Side)
In my current state of affairs I don’t have much (work) experience to showcase, only for my NS days as a “do everything” clerk & a 7 month stint in DBS HR Dept as a team member of the performance appraisal review coordinating task force (which is just another fancy term for admin assistant), to count for.
I don’t possess street smarts & the likes or do I have a pool of quotes to tap on, & although I do try to develop them, though not much in a desired concerted effort fashion, yet also to a lack of grasping the certain fundamentals of it.
Critically, I have long been relying on my gut instinctive hunch to always decide situations unfamiliar to me, after assessing inputs of facts, reasons & logic.
Since young, for a lack of focused direction & mentorship in life (not that I’ve fallen), I could only etch out a walk among wild grass & dirt, looking for directions, finding an aim. Further as I walked along the path of life, the things I’ve seen of the politicking, class power-plays, the state of affairs of institutions, of the environment, sciences & regional situations, with my unavailability to render aid or change things grew a half-hearted desire to do something.
Living a perpetually contented life at a certain level with no worries, be happy, free-spending lifestyle & not contributing to society seems too much of a stagnation & a life of no real value & purpose to me.
Be a volunteer, or a social entrepreneur you might say? Not exactly my cup of tea. I prefer coffee anyway, brewed fresh from the bowels of a civet cat, with me drenched in rain, chilled by cold.
There is nothing more refreshing & sobering than the cold breath of nature stinging at your cheeks, reminding the fact that one is alive & well.
That said, there is also nothing more rewarding than getting the recognition for a job well done.
At this point of time I can only say I hope I realized the what’s & needs in my life.
The why’s I hope I hold the correct answers.
The how, when & where’s, that I need to find out, more & fast!
Hopefully with a clearer see-able goal(s), I can go on to achieve things with a more certain & focused series of steps.
Aside from providing financial security for the family, spreading & sharing the wealth around, & more than just participating in noble causes like social work, or eradicating hunger & illiteracy, etc, the kind of plans I have in mind I hope can allow me to engage in something that goes beyond than just improving & promoting conditions at the local & regional levels…… plans of grandiose it seems, yet more like plans of idealism I suspect, but as plans of naivety I hope not.
Hopefully, whatever I learn from the TEN programme can better aid me in the realization of those goals I aim for. The road ahead wouldn’t be any more easier, & sometimes I feel, if I were to embark on something so new & unfamiliar to me (foolish or not), that I might be the lone soul threading into grounds unknown. That of all, I fear a lot, because loneliness is such a terrible thing to have, & endure. (Like-minded individuals are among the rare & the few.)
But I’ll do what I’ve been doing all-along: grind my teeth, bear along, move ahead. Stubbornness, the hallmark of a Taurus.